Lost Time, Lost Lives
by Swanstream
Summary: <html><head></head>She had wasted too much of her life on him. But we only all live once. Time is precious, lives are priceless. There is a time, when a person is reborn. No literally, but spiritually. This is what happened to Clare Edwards. She was reborn. HIATUS</html>


**Explanation: I was in a horrible mood, I needed to release my feelings. I believe that somehow, Clare is going to forgive Elia after what happened last episode, so since I am in a bad mood, caused by my untrusting mother, I will get my anger out, and hopefully I will be in a better mood.**

**Warning: This story will not have a happy, candy sweet ending. You have been warned.**

Lost Time, Lost Lives

He had manipulated me. Betrayed me for his own greedy needs. Twisted me like a black ribbon, unwillingly tied around him. Tight. Suffocated. That ribbon, the beautiful ribbon. A tiny tear grew in it's side. Over time, that tear grew bigger and bigger, until it was left, barely holding together by a tiny piece of thread. That ribbon broke that day. Finally, it was free, but not quite. It was released, yes but it was torn in two pieces. Broken and scarred. Struggling to get back together.

That ribbon was me.

I am Clare Edwards, and I am no longer that innocent, saint that every single person at Degrassi thought me to be. I was different. I was broken.

As I trudged up the steps of Degrassi Community School, I felt a sense of security, knowing that _he_ would not be here. Neither would that stupid, evil infested hearse of his. His name choked me, too poisonous to roll off my tongue. But you already probably know who he is. That junior with the jet black hair and emerald eyes that can stun you a mile away. That crooked smirk, worthy of Edward Cullen, only even more perfect. The boy who wore all black and had that caring, protective streak. The boy I had been dating for at least half a year now.

Twisting the combination on my locker, I saw Adam, my best friend walk up to me, his once warm blue eyes filled with regret and sadness. I cautiously looked over at him, and he stopped in front of me. We stood there, silent for a moment before he spoke.

"How are you?" I faintly smiled. Closing my locker, I shrugged and fiddled with my purple uniform.

"I'm fine." my voice trailed off when I saw how down Adam looked. I frowned and poked him gently. "Adam, what's up?" the boy shrugged and looked up at me, faint tears welling in his eyes.

"It really hurt, when Fiona called me 'the best of both worlds'." he started. I sighed and listened intently. Recently, Adam had found out that his true love was a freaking lesbian. And the fact that Adam was transgender didn't help. I truly and strongly believed that Adam was all guy, just born in a girl's body, but the Fiona incident left me wondering if he would turn back to Gracie, and stay as the Adam that I always knew and loved like a brother.

"I just couldn't be with her the way she wanted me to." Adam muttered mournfully. "I guess I'll just have to meet someone else." I forced a sympathetic smile and shoulder bumped him gently.

"Hey, it'll be all right. Who needs Fiona, right? We're better off! You wasted too much time on her anyway, and you totally deserve better, right?" I blushed happily as Adam looked up and grinned, a legit grin.

"Yea your right." the the grin faded. "What about Eli?" I froze at the name. Digging my nails into my palms, I turned beet red. Adam blushed and held his hands up in surrender.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to-" I shook my head and grit my teeth.

"No, it's fine." I assured. Adam nodded unsure before I forced another smile and shrugged.

"I wasted too much of my life on him, and I'm ready to restart. We all only live once, right? I know I will never get those 4 months back, but at least I can throw it behind me and start again." Adam looked bewildered.

"But when he comes back to Degrassi after the Wacky House?" I inhaled deeply and huffed, closing my locker forcefully.

"Well Adam, lost time, lost lives. I'm giving anymore of my life to that jerk. That's final." And with that, I smirked and strutted away to English leaving a very confused, but motivated Adam behind. That's when I realized that… Adam and I were pretty much in the same position after all.


End file.
